No “hope” for music
The album, Hope For Haiti Now, has done its job as a fundraiser, certainly. It has grossed over $3 million since the live performance featuring high-profile artists like Beyoncé, Sting, Jay-Z, Bono, Rihanna, Dave Matthews and Neil Young, and has funneled all of the proceeds to the Haiti relief effort through organizations such as the Red Cross, Oxfam America and UNICEF.
As an album though, the songs are largely tepid and some are just frankly not suited for an album promoting charity. Here is a play-by-play of what a few of the tracks made me “feel.”
“Halo” – Beyoncé: Your voice sounds nice but really? All you did was substitute the word ‘baby’ for ‘Haiti’. Not very creative.
“Lift Me Up” – Christina Aguilera: Haiti, you’re beautiful and I want to get dirty for you.
“Alone and Foresaken” – Dave Matthews and Neil Young: This reminds me of summer camp. We should all hold hands and play guitar.
“Stranded (Haiti Mon Amore)” – Jay-Z, Bono, The Edge and Rihanna: Jay-Z sounds typical, at least entertaining. Rihanna, you’re disappointing. Also, Haiti, it’s clear they won’t leave you stranded like we did in New Orleans, and that’s a promise straight from Rihanna’s mouth.
“Motherless Child” – John Legend: Sadly, the song’s content is extremely pertinent to the Haiti situation. Beautiful vocals but the song is boring until the pick-up about mid-way through when you get a faster piano beat.
“Hallelujah” – Justin Timberlake and Matt Morris featuring Charlie Sexton: Timberlake and Morris remake Hallelujah and destroy it. (I mean that in the worst possible way.)
“Like A Prayer” – Madonna: Madonna takes the original, slows it down, and adds some ‘ooos’ that sound like they’re straight out of a Bambi film. It sucks just like it did before, except this time the song isn’t about sex.
“Hard Times Come Again No More” – Mary J. Blige featuring The Roots: I never really liked Mary J. Blige as an artist but this sounds good. Just a nice, strong gospel tune. Would have been nice to incorporate Black Thought (The Roots rapper) a little bit in the song.
“I’ll Stand By You” – Shakira featuring The Roots: Naturally, this song sucks. There’s really no alteration in the song at all other than the vocals, which are far worse than the original. The worst song on the album by far.
“Lean On Me” – Sheryl Crow, Kid Rock, and Keith Urban: Not the worst song on the album but certainly nothing to shake a stick at. Sounds just like Crow and Rock’s song, “Picture,” but for Haiti.
“Time to Love/Bridge Over Troubled Water” – Stevie Wonder: Nice piano, nice melody, nice back-up vocals. One of the best songs on the album.
“Driven to Tears” – Sting: Sting sounds like Sting, there’s nothing more to say.
“Breathless” – Taylor Swift: Swift is kind of boring but I find her endearing nonetheless. Sounds like any of her other songs. Cute, small town girl with a guitar sings to Haiti.
“Rivers of Babylon” to the Yele melody – Wyclef Jean: Hands down the best song on the entire album. It sounds like Haiti, it feels like Haiti, and its message is for Haiti. The reggae/ Creole influence works and actually makes you feel like you’re bringing the island together.
With 19 tracks, I was mildly entertained by maybe six of them (and I’m mostly being generous when I say entertained), and I thoroughly enjoyed five tracks. In the interest of charity to a country which so desperately needs it, I thank and congratulate all of the musicians, but in the interest of music, I’d say most of you fell short, very short.
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